Author: Jenny Smedra

Our Greatest Financial Challenges in Our First Year of Marriage

Financial Challenges of Marriage

 

Deciding to get married is just the first of many important decisions you make as a couple. However, many people forget that there are other considerations besides how you feel about each other. For example, how to combine your finances and plan for your future together. Many of us know that financial strain can create tension in relationships, and serious money troubles often lead to divorce. That’s why it was so important to my husband and me to evaluate our financial compatibility and address these issues from the very beginning. However, even the strongest marriages face obstacles. Here are some of the greatest financial challenges we have faced in our first year of marriage.

The First Financial Challenge of Marriage

The first challenge many couples face is planning the wedding. And, with an average cost of $28,000, it’s easy to understand why this is such a hurdle. That’s a lot of money to spend on a ceremony, especially if you already have debts or want to save for a down payment on a home.

However, our situation is a little different. I never wanted to have a huge ceremony and have already started to budget for a smaller wedding for about half the average cost. Unfortunately, two wrenches were thrown into this plan. First, my husband’s job awarded him a contract that will take him out of state for at least six months. In addition to the costs of maintaining our current household, he’ll also have to rent an apartment there. Second, we received news that my dad’s health was starting to rapidly decline.

Both of these factors affected our timeline. Speeding it would have been stressful and crazy expensive with limited venues available at the last minute. However, it was really important to me that my dad was part of it. So, we decided to have a small civil ceremony at the courthouse and postpone our bigger plans. Choosing to do a courthouse wedding now allowed my dad to be present. And, it gave us more time to plan the ceremony we had originally wanted. As an added bonus, there is less pressure and paperwork to take care of later as well.

The Greatest Financial Challenges

Without a doubt, the greatest challenge has been figuring out how to file our taxes. Although nobody looks forward to tax season – besides the IRS of course – our finances are especially complicated. In addition to my husband’s primary job, we both run small businesses. Furthermore, I lived overseas previously and have international accounts which make it even more difficult.

We both have personal CPAs who have helped manage our accounts and taxes for the last several years. Therefore, my initial response was to file separately until my finances are all domestically based.

However, I have never filed jointly before. So, I didn’t realize how much of an advantage this offers couples. While it is going to be tedious tracking and itemizing all our expenses and deductions, it makes sense financially. But, the next question was deciding who we should choose to continue handling our tax returns in the future.

The deciding factor here came down to which CPA was more familiar with our situation. Although I had worked with mine for a few years, my husband’s CPA has handled his and his parent’s taxes for nearly 20 years. And with him holding more assets, it made sense for me to switch.

Despite the financial challenges in our first year of marriage, it has also been an invaluable learning experience. Not only am I more familiar with tax laws, but it has also made me more diligent with my accounting and bookkeeping. It goes to show that not all challenges have to be obstacles.

My Personal Financial Challenges of Marriage

Even though we have been very transparent, there were personal financial challenges of marriage that I had not anticipated. While we had a clear plan and shared financial goals, I had mixed emotions about losing complete independence and the disparity in our incomes.

My husband has a good job and makes considerably more than I do. However, I have been self-sufficient and paid all my own expenses since I was 18. I got used to living on a budget and prefer to maintain a minimalist lifestyle and my own bank accounts. Part of this was from necessity, and part was due to my struggles in accepting financial help, even from my partner.

On the other hand, my husband wants to enjoy the money he works so hard far. While I agree that he deserves to splurge on himself, I still find it difficult to spend anything on myself. Every extra dollar goes straight into my retirement or investment accounts or our joint savings account.

His approach in helping me deal with my own issues and perspective on money is how I know we are building a relationship that will last. He utilizes my strengths to keep us on track to reach our financial goals. However, he also is very supportive and helps me to let go and live a little. Rather than continuing to live in survival mode, he has shown me why it’s important to spend money on things you enjoy as well. In my eyes, the balance we bring to our finances also translates into other aspects of our marriage.

Overcoming the Obstacles

By no means am I claiming to be a relationship or financial expert. However, I feel we have tackled difficult financial issues that cause many relationships to fail. After our first year of marriage, I believe my husband and I have built a strong foundation. And, if we continue to communicate and work through these challenges together, it will only get stronger. At the end of the day, I know I have a partner who trusts me and supports me. And that is more valuable and important than any financial problem we will face.

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7 Unhealthy Signs of Obsession with Money

Unhealthy Signs of Obsession with Money

There are many reasons why money has inspired so many proverbs and clichés. Money does make the world go round. You need it to buy necessities to survive. And, it allows us to buy other things that make life more comfortable and convenient. However, people’s greed has given strong evidence that it may be the root of all evil. Sometimes the desire for money can negatively affect your life and relationships. When it becomes the primary focus in your life, it could lead to obsession. If you show these 7 unhealthy signs of obsession with money, you may need to rethink your priorities.

7 Unhealthy Signs of Obsession with Money

1. It’s all you talk about.

Is money the topic of every conversation you have?  Does every discussion circle back to it: what to do with it, how to make more money, and where to invest it? While money is important, it shouldn’t be your only motivating factor. There is more to life than your net worth. So, if it’s the only thing you talk about, this is one of the unhealthy signs of obsession with money.

Although I enjoy discussing finance, I don’t want money to consume my life. Many people are sensitive to these topics, and most prefer not to discuss them at all.  Therefore, it’s better to have diverse interests and other things you are passionate about as well. Otherwise, if money is the only thing on your mind, it could alienate people or cause them to avoid you altogether.

2. It’s all you think about.

On that same train of thought, thinking about money all the time is another sign that you are heading toward obsession. If it’s the first thing on your mind when you wake up, or you find yourself planning your entire schedule around trades and timing the market, you may have a problem. The desire to keep tabs on your account balances and stock tickers can quickly turn into an unhealthy compulsion. For those who think about money every moment of the day, you may want to consider speaking with a mental health expert to regain control.

3. You sacrifice important things for money.

Sayings like “time is money” or “health is wealth”  show how highly our society values money. Those who internalize these beliefs view everything in terms of money. And, they are often willing to sacrifice important things to earn more of it.

For many, it starts with missed events and family moments. Then, it eventually leads to lost friends, family, physical and mental health, morals, and sense of self in the pursuit of money. It can become an obsession before you realize it. While financial security is important, you shouldn’t be giving up what matters most to you to get rich.

4. You jump at every opportunity that comes your way.

In the last few years, I have become a much more active and hands-on investor. However, I don’t buy into the hype or throw money at an investment opportunity without evaluating it first. I do my due diligence and try to decide which opportunities look the most promising.  Investing in new things is good for your portfolio. But, you don’t want to jump at each one that comes your way. Impulsive and uninformed decisions have led to many regrets and huge financial losses.

5. There is a constant comparison between your finances and who you aspire to be.

There are many smart investors who should be admired for their business sense and success. But, fixating on money and constantly comparing your finances to other people is one of the unhealthy signs of obsession with money. In addition to setting unrealistic goals, it also creates anxiety and self-induced stress as you worry about keeping pace or that you aren’t gaining fast enough.

Remember that there will always be someone out there who is more successful and better than you.  However, success is not determined by your financial gains, but by the sum of all your achievements. Instead, compare yourself to who you were and where you are now. That’s the only progress that truly matters.

6. You save every cent.

I’ll be the first to admit that I have passed on doing things or purchasing items I wanted because of the price. Sometimes, it was because I was on a limited budget and had to count my pennies. Other times, it was because I felt an instinctual need to save. While this trait has been very helpful in helping me build my savings, I often tried to account for every cent or denied myself things to save money.

However, as I often tell myself, there is no reason to take it to such extremes. And, that I’m allowed to spend some of the money I earn. When the guilt returns, I remind myself that I work hard and deserve to spend some on things I enjoy.

7. You always want more.

It’s natural to want more money. Whether to pay bills or simply treat yourself, I doubt anyone would turn down an opportunity to make more. However, when ambition turns into a need, it’s another of the unhealthy signs of obsession with money. People with this mindset are always looking for what’s next instead of appreciating what they already have.

Some would argue that this is probably the most serious sign of obsession. There is no end to the desire because you will never have enough.  It’s an endless cycle from which you can never be satisfied. To find fulfillment, you have to change your perspective and view money not as the end goal, but as the tool to help you achieve them.

What to Do if You Have Unhealthy Signs of Obsession with Money

If you think you may have a problem with money, ask yourself “why is it so important?” While it can buy you many things, long-term happiness shouldn’t depend on money alone. So, if you feel yourself veering into obsession or think you are showing signs of a money disorder, seek a professional opinion.

It’s perfectly natural to want more material things in life, but it shouldn’t detract from your mental or physical well-being. It’s also important to stop and enjoy the free things life gives you, not just money. Time is worth more than money, so make sure you spend both wisely.

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Budgeting and Bill-Cutting Hacks after my Holiday Spending

Budgeting and Bill-Cutting Hacks after my Holiday Spending

I absolutely love Christmas…the carols, the baking, and the general cheerful spirit. However, my favorite part has always been giving gifts. As one of my love languages, I show those closest to me how much they mean by finding things they never knew they needed or items they won’t buy for themselves. While this way of showing affection has been great for my personal relationships, it isn’t so great for my finances. Every year I tell myself the same thing as the holidays approach…set a budget. And yet, like clockwork I always overspend. When the bills come in January, I have to over-correct to balance my budget. Here are 5 of my budgeting and bill-cutting hacks to get my finances back on track.

Assessing the Damage

For me, the first step when dealing with any problem is to assess the situation. From there, I identify what needs to be done and make a plan of action.

Let’s start by looking at my budget. The monthly spending limit I hold myself to is $1,000. This doesn’t include utilities, bills, groceries, or other living necessities. It typically covers entertainment costs like eating out, travel, transportation, personal shopping, or any miscellaneous things that come up. I also saved an additional $1,000 this year for holiday shopping in December. That gave me a grand total of $2,000 for the month.

Although it was better than most years, I went over my budget by $300. What killed it was another unexpected expense that came up at the worst possible time. Unfortunately, my computer decided to crash. Since I use it daily for work, I had to buy the right laptop for my professional needs. But, this expense put me another $700 over budget. Now, I have to recoup $1,000 from my holiday spending. I decided the easiest way to compensate was to scale back my personal spending budget to $750. Then I could have it covered by April.

5 Budgeting and Bill-Cutting Hacks to Get Back on Track

To reach my savings goal, here are 5 budgeting and bill-cutting hacks that have worked to help me get back on track.

1. Cooking at Home

One of my biggest indulgences in getting take-out food during the week. Managing so many schedules is exhausting. And, it’s easier to not only order take-out, but also have it delivered to your door. But, if you do this regularly, then you know how expensive it can get.

Cooking at home eliminates the higher cost of the food and saves me the money I would usually spend on service tips. In December, this accounted for a quarter of my budget. For January, I cut it back to 10% by preparing my own food. In addition to saving money, I’m also eating healthier, enjoying some of my favorite meals, and learning new recipes.

2. Second-Hand and Upcycled Items

I am very close with my nieces and have always enjoyed having them spend the night. Recent circumstances and health concerns have led to one of them moving in with me temporarily. But, I don’t have a proper guestroom in my new home. So, we needed to find furniture that would make the room more functional and comfortable for her.

Instead of buying something new, we looked to upcycle items we already had or buy them second-hand. Luckily, we already had a mattress that has never been used. Then, my cousin offered a great bedroom set for free since she no longer needed it. Overall it’s in good condition, but some of the dressers needed touch-ups. With a little paint, you can hardly tell there were any dings or scratches. We also repurposed some old frames and printed personal photos. We only had to buy a few organizational and decor items which we found through online marketplaces or local thrift shops for a fraction of the cost.

3. Automated Payment

In the past, I’ve made the mistake of forgetting to pay bills on time. Those fees can really add up, especially if it becomes a habit. To ensure I don’t miss a deadline, I automate payments for all my bills. Then, I set notifications that remind me to pay the ones that can’t be automated. This way I can’t forget.

It also helps me to schedule them all for the first week of the month. First, they are grouped together so I can do it all at one time. Secondly, it prevents me from spending money on other things. Automated payments have been a budgeting game-changer.

4. Comparison Shopping

Over the years, one way I kept the holiday spending down was by comparison shopping. I start looking for deals long before the holidays as well. This year, I found a ton of sales on Black Friday that saved me nearly $2,000 on household items and a new work computer.

Unfortunately, this is where the bulk of my overspending happens. It’s hard for me to resist a good deal. Although I know it’s better to invest in quality items that last a long time, I often buy things I really don’t need just because it’s on sale. By looking around, it gives me time to think it over and find the lowest price out there.

5. Rediscovering Old Hobbies

My final and favorite of these budgeting and bill-cutting hacks has been rediscovering old hobbies. And, many of the activities I enjoy most are absolutely free. Playing games, doing puzzles, reading, and drawing don’t cost a thing.

Since we’ve been spending more time at home, I also find myself cleaning and organizing my space. This has also turned up long-forgotten projects that I never finished. Cutting my entertainment costs has given me a chance to get in touch with my creative side and finally finish those sketches, put together my design projects, or assist my husband with his construction projects. As an added bonus, I enjoy spending more time at home since it clears up space.

Final Tip

One of the unexpected budgeting and bill-cutting hacks I have learned is finding motivation by setting goals. Breaking bad spending habits and living on a budget is hard. However, I realize that with self-discipline and proper motivation it can be done. Setting financial goals helps me stay focused. As of now, I have only spent $425 this month. I highly doubt that I’ll spend enough this week to break my budget. If I can continue to stay under my limit, I’ll reach my goal even faster.

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