Navigating a relationship means sometimes steering clear of conversational icebergs. Get ready to navigate the minefield of words in the realm of romance. Each entry is a gentle reminder that sometimes, it’s not what you say but how you say it.
“You never listen to me.”
This absolute can make your partner feel unjustly accused and defensive. Try expressing your feelings without blanket statements.
“You’re overreacting.”
Minimizing your partner’s feelings is a fast track to making them feel misunderstood. Instead, acknowledge their emotions as valid.
“Whatever.”
It’s the verbal equivalent of an eye roll. This dismissive gem can make your partner feel like you’re not taking their thoughts or feelings seriously.
“I told you so.”
Gloating over your partner’s mistakes doesn’t contribute to a solution. It’s about being a team, not keeping score.
“You always do this.”
Another absolute that can corner your partner and amplify negativity. Focus on the specific issue rather than generalizing their behavior.
“You’re just like your mother/father.”
This comparison can sting, especially if it’s intended as a critique. Appreciate the individuality of your partner, quirks, and all.
“Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine.”
Saying you’re fine when you’re not is the classic bottled-up emotion waiting to explode. Honesty paves the way for a more authentic connection.
“If you really loved me, you would…”
Love isn’t about passing tests or meeting conditions. Communicate your needs without making your affection contingent on their actions.
“We need to talk.”
Although sometimes necessary, this phrase can send anyone into panic mode. Ease into serious conversations without sounding the alarm.
“Why can’t you be more like [person]?”
Comparing your partner to someone else can erode their self-esteem. Cherish the unique bond you share without outside benchmarks.
“I don’t care.”
Even if said in frustration, it can come across as indifferent to your partner’s needs or the relationship itself. Take a moment to cool down before responding.
“You owe me.”
Keeping a tally of who owes what can turn a relationship into a transaction. Strive for mutual support without scorekeeping.
“That’s just who I am.”
Using this as an excuse for hurtful behavior dismisses the opportunity for growth. Embrace change and self-improvement for the sake of your partnership.
“You should have known.”
Expecting your partner to read your mind sets them up for failure. Clear communication is key to understanding each other’s needs.
“Fine, leave.”
Threatening the stability of your relationship during a disagreement can create lasting insecurity. Work through conflicts with patience and understanding.
Dying without a will, known as dying intestate, can lead to a series of unexpected and often unwelcome outcomes. Here are 17 possibilities that underscore the importance of having a will, even if you think you don’t need one.
State Laws Take Over
In the absence of a will, your estate falls prey to the generic, one-size-fits-all intestacy laws of your state, which may not reflect your personal wishes or family’s needs. This impersonal process overlooks the unique dynamics and relationships that define our lives.
Complicated Family Dynamics
Without a will to clarify the deceased’s intentions, blended families or those with complex relationships can be thrust into contentious situations, fighting over assets and entitlements in a manner that can irreparably damage familial bonds.
Longer Probate Process
The probate court’s task of deciphering your estate’s distribution without a will is time-consuming and fraught with delays. These can freeze assets, hindering your loved one’s ability to access what you’ve left behind when they most need it.
Guardianship Conflicts
The court’s selection of a guardian for your minor children might not align with your own choice, sparking disputes among relatives who may have differing views on raising your children.
Unintended Beneficiaries
Dying intestate can inadvertently benefit relatives you’re estranged from or hardly know, diverting assets away from those who truly matter to you or are in need of your support.
Increased Legal Costs
The legal battles and extended probate process without a will can significantly drain your estate’s finances, reducing the inheritance your beneficiaries receive and possibly leaving them with less than you intended.
Business Complications
Without clear instructions in a will, your business may face an uncertain future, affecting not just your family’s wealth but also the livelihoods of your employees and the continuation of your legacy.
Charitable Intentions Ignored
The opportunity to support charitable causes close to your heart is lost without a will, denying you the chance to make a posthumous impact and contribute to a greater good.
Lost Heirlooms
Sentimental possessions may never reach the hands of those who cherish them most, as the courts lack the insight to distribute personal items according to your sentimental wishes.
Partners Left Out
Unmarried partners are particularly vulnerable without a will, as intestacy laws do not recognize them as heirs, potentially leaving them without support or a home.
Property May Not Stay in the Family
In cases where no direct family can be found, your assets might revert to the state, stripping your distant relatives or friends of any potential benefit and severing your assets from personal connections.
Pets May Not Be Cared For
Your beloved pets’ fate is left to chance without a will specifying a caretaker, risking their well-being and placing them in potentially unsuitable environments.
Scholarship and Memorial Fund Challenges
Establishing a scholarship or fund in your memory becomes an impossibility without a will to direct such a legacy, missing an opportunity to inspire and support future generations.
Jointly Owned Property Complications
For jointly owned assets not covered by survivorship rights, the lack of a will complicates the distribution and can lead to legal disputes that tarnish relationships and diminish the asset’s value.
Potential for Family Feuds
The ambiguity and frustration stemming from an intestate estate can ignite or exacerbate family disputes, creating rifts that might never heal and tarnishing your memory with conflict.
Digital Assets May Be Lost
Without explicit instructions, your online presence and digital assets—from social media accounts to cryptocurrencies—may become inaccessible or be permanently deleted.
Unexpected Tax Consequences
The lack of tax planning in a will can expose your estate to unnecessary taxation, significantly reducing the amount passed on to your beneficiaries and possibly undermining your family’s financial security.
My family is very fortunate to live where we do. Not only do we have several neighbors who we enjoy spending time with, but we know that we have friends nearby that we can always turn to for help. The people who live on our street have no issues asking for a cup of sugar or an extra set of hands during home renovation projects. However, sometimes these projects require tools we don’t have. If you have a good relationship with those in your neighborhood, here are 10 tools you can share with your neighbors to save money.
10 Tools You Can Share With Your Neighbors to Save Money
Working in construction, my husband has collected quite a few tools over the years. However, they don’t come cheap. Quality items run anywhere from $100 – $1,000, depending on what you need. And if he only needs them for a single job, it doesn’t make sense to buy them new.
Many people feel the same way which is why they are creating neighborhood networks and tool libraries to share resources and save money. If no one in your neighborhood has access to what they need, here are 10 tools you can share with your neighbors to save money.
1. Lawn Mower
One of the most demanding responsibilities for homeowners is lawn care. And if you have an HOA, they may have strict rules about the appearance of your lawn. Hiring these services can be expensive, but so is buying a new lawn mower. With prices ranging from $150 – $2,000, a new mower may not be in your budget. Therefore, it may make more financial sense to pool your resources and get one to share among your neighbors.
2. Leaf Blower
Having a leaf blower can make yard cleanup a breeze. Unfortunately, these time-saving tools cost an average of $150 each. So if you prefer to skip the back-breaking chores and the extra cost, splitting the expense will make it more affordable.
3. Chainsaw
There will be times when you need a chainsaw to maintain your trees and clear away debris. Although it may be the best tool for the job, it does come at a price. Cheaper electric models start around $80, but sturdier gas-powered models could run you $350. So, if it isn’t something you will use regularly, this could be one of the tools to share with neighbors to help you save.
4. Gardening Tools
Although I’m not an avid gardener, I understand that gardening tools are essential for planting, maintaining, and cultivating. Without the right tools, it could damage your plants and add hours of unnecessary effort. But if you aren’t ready to invest in your own, sharing these tools could save you a lot of time and money.
5. Pressure Washer
Over time, mold, mildew, and grime will grow and cling to the exterior surfaces of your home and vehicles. Pressure washing not only keeps things looking new, but it will also help you maintain a cleaner, healthier home. However, it doesn’t make sense to spend hundreds of dollars for something you may only use once a year. Instead, talk to your neighbors to see if anyone would be willing to pitch in to reduce the cost of owning one.
6. Snow Blower
The winter months can be brutal in colder climates, especially if you don’t have a snow blower. Unfortunately, they aren’t an option for everyone since the average cost is around $950 for a new one. But if your neighbors are willing to share the cost and responsibility for snow removal, a snow blower could make this winter a little more bearable.
7. Extension Ladder
Most of us have the standard 6 ft ladder to assist with jobs around the house. On the other hand, people usually don’t have the need or space for extension ladders in their garages. But for those times when you need one to reach high places, buying an extension ladder for the neighborhood will make life easier.
8. Drills
Drills are one of the most commonly used tools around the house. Therefore, people usually own a cordless drill to help them with small projects. But if you need something to drill through tougher materials, you will probably need a drill with more power. Rather than renting them out every time you need them, you could purchase these tools to share with neighbors.
Air compressors are highly versatile. They can be used for anything from inflating tires and powering tools to cleaning up after messy jobs. But even a portable one will set you back at least $100. And if you need a larger tank for bigger jobs, you could spend thousands. Depending on the models you are looking at, dividing the cost could be beneficial for everyone.
Considerations Before You Share Tools With Your Neighbor
Starting a neighborhood tool share makes environmental and economic sense. But before you jump in and start buying expensive equipment, here are a few considerations to keep in mind.
Is it better to buy or borrow? Sometimes, it’s more cost-effective to borrow or rent tools for one-time jobs. But if you will use it often and have the room to store it, it’s probably better to buy what you need.
Are there safety concerns? The person borrowing the tool is ultimately responsible for using them safely and properly. However, you should make sure they know how to use the tool and to wear proper safety gear.
Are there terms and expectations for borrowing? To ensure no one abuses the system, you may want to set time limits and expectations for borrowing the tools. Although a verbal agreement should be enough, you can create a simple contract with the details.
Who is responsible for damage or loss? It should be common sense that the person borrowing the tool is responsible for its care and safe return. If you are at fault, it’s in your best interests to replace it, no matter the cost. Although it will be an expensive lesson, you need to think about your relationships. Since you live next to them, shirking responsibility could impact the entire neighborhood.
Sharing tools can be a great way to save money and get the help you need for bigger jobs. If you aren’t sure if tool sharing is the right choice for your neighborhood, host a get-together. This will give everyone a chance to meet, gauge interest, and determine if it’s the right option for your neighbors.
Jenny Smedra is an avid world traveler, ESL teacher, former archaeologist, and freelance writer. Choosing a life abroad had strengthened her commitment to finding ways to bring people together across language and cultural barriers. While most of her time is dedicated to either working with children, she also enjoys good friends, good food, and new adventures.
